One social media star's impact on ordinary people across the country
What Ever Happened to Alice Monroe? is a work of fiction presented as part of Verb Theatre's Blue Light Festival 2020. To start from the beginning, click here.
One year ago today, Alice Monroe disappeared.
While the circumstances of her disappearance are tragic, other writers have covered it better than I ever could. So, today I would like to take some time to think of Alice, not as a victim, but as an inspiration. I reached out on Twitter to find stories of Alice’s impact on people. Here are just 3 of those stories.
Connie Hart - Local Entertainer
Connie: “Hi, my name is Connie Hart. I’m an independent artist living in Austin, Texas.”
Jane: “Hi, Connie. It’s my understanding you were a fan of Alice?”
C: “I would say super fan, to be honest. I was obsessed with her. She didn’t have any merch when she started out, but I really wanted to show support. So- So I [laughs] so I printed out a picture of her face on that iron on paper stuff. And I made my own shirt.”
J: “wow , so you literally had-”
C: “Yep. Big Alice face right on my chest. This would have been 8ish years ago? Anyway, I'm this scared kid. I get good math scores, and as I get older, people keep sending me these engineering scholarships. 'Women in STEM' stuff. It all looks super fun, but I start to get nervous. I’m getting closer and closer to college and I'm wondering if engineering is really what I want to do.”
J: “Why were you so scared?”
C: “My brother got in my head about it being a 'boys club'. But I’m seeing less and less women at the college recruiting things.”
J: “What made you change your mind?”
C: “It wasn’t anything huge really. Alice just posted a tweet of her studying for her undergrad. It lit a fire in me though. If she can do it, why can’t I? That thought has pushed me through a lot of late night study sessions. I’m almost finished with my degree. It was pretty hard when Alice disappeared, but now I feel like I owe it to her to keep going.”
J: “Well, congratulations on your upcoming graduation.”
Aidan Kenny - San Francisco bartender
Jane: “Okay, tell me how Alice has impacted you.”
Aidan: “Oh, I wouldn’t have come out if it weren't for Alice.”
J: “Really?”
A: “Oh yeah. I had your classic sad, closeted gay boy story. Homophobic parents, repressed feelings. The works. I was really a mess.”
J: “Right. You told me you were born in Alabama?”
A: “Yep. I tried playing football for a little while. I mean, can you imagine me doing that? [laughs] Yeah, I would have been destroyed. It wasn’t all bad. Warm. There were some gorgeous views. The lifeguard at my local swimming pool was....something else. I loved swimming, but I was really going for him. Of course, I would have denied it. I hadn’t even heard of a gay person until I was sixteen or seventeenish. But there was no way that could be me. Until eventually, I couldn’t deny it anymore.”
J: “How did that go?”
A: “Bad. Monumentally bad. My dad was furious. So I lived in this kind of limbo. I knew what the truth was, but I could never live it. I was so depressed in those days. I found an old Vine compilation of Alice.”
J: “How did that change things for you?”
A: “It didn’t at first. It was just a funny thing to watch to distract myself. Then I looked at her Twitter feed and I saw that she posted a thing for pride. Her with a little rainbow on her face, giving her love and support to our community. #loveislove.”
J: “What did you do?”
A: “First, I cried for an hour. But eventually I was like, 'wow, there is a place where people can be themselves'. Right, like she can jam a full Oreo packet in her mouth at once for millions of people. Surely I can be a little gay, right? I wish I was a fan earlier. I could have had so much more time. But, here I am. All we can do is tackle things one day at a time, right?”
Anonymous
I want to preface this next submission with a trigger warning. While this next interviewee doesn’t mention it directly, they do brush close to the topic of suicide. They have chosen to remain anonymous, and I will respect their wishes. Please be advised.
Jane: “Thank you so much for talking with me, it must be hard.”
Anonymous: “Honestly? Yeah, a little bit. But I don’t know, Alice has been dragged through the mud online, and she deserves a few good stories written about her.”
J: “I agree. Alice meant a lot to a lot of people.”
A: “She meant everything to me. No exaggeration, I would not be here if it weren’t for Alice.”
J: “Would you like to talk about that?”
A: “Yeah. So. You’re like one of a handful of people I've told about this. It was 4 years ago. I had the worst year of my life. I lost my job, and for some reason no one would hire me. I bummed around for a bit. Worked for a bunch of those different apps. Uber, Skip, all that stuff. Then I started living in my car, so I couldn’t Uber in it and keep up a good rating.”
J: “Did you reach out to family, or friends?
A: “I didn’t want to be a bother, to be honest. I don’t know. It sounds stupid now, but I really thought that I shouldn’t be putting my failure onto other people. Then the car got broken into. I came back from dropping off an application, and the window was smashed in. I just couldn’t do it anymore. My parents let me move back in with them. It was rough. Then dad died.”
J: “I’m sorry for your loss.”
A: “Thank you. I fell into this pit. Here I am, at [AGE REDACTED], still living with my parents. And then dad died, and I couldn’t stop thinking about his last impression of me. He died seeing his daughter as worthless.”
J: “I’m sure he was proud of you, in some way.”
A: “Well, try telling me that back then. It just seemed so hopeless. Like, why bother? I remember one night I couldn’t sleep. I went down a youtube spiral looking at all my old 'liked' videos. Alice had made a video in the later years of her career, talking about all the harassment she went through. I guess it stuck with me, because an hour later I’m in my parents' kitchen, with a knife, looking for any reason. I don’t know why, but I DM'd Alice on Twitter. Told her how much I loved her old vines and her new videos. And how sorry I was.”
J: “ What happened?”
A: “She messaged back almost instantly. She had all these resources for me to use, and stayed up with me all night. By the morning, it didn’t seem so bleak. We messaged back and forth for a while after that. I went to therapy because of her. Things are so much better now.”
J: “That's amazing”
A: “Yeah. She messaged me. The night she disappeared. We hadn’t spoken in a while. All she said was, “Hope you're doing okay. I’m not going to be able to message you for a while. Sorry.” Then her Twitter got deleted, and I haven't heard from her since.”
J: “What do you think happened to Alice?”
A: “I don’t know. But she’s done enough, and frankly, she deserves her privacy. Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy.”
J: “Me too”.
Jane Knight, for the Hemingway Press Group.
#alicehelpedme